Mr Darcy's Mistress
by KateBrandon
Summary: Mr. Darcy has a different sort of proposal for Elizabeth-or does he? Did he truly ask her to be his mistress or has she jumped to a false conclusion? Told in first person.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, everyone. I'm a bit nervous sharing this story. I've been a writer for years but am trying a new style and a new pen name for it.

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Prologue

"And now I must ask you to end my agony. Be my mistress-"

"Yes," I said with my heart pounding in my chest.

When Darcy's lips crashed down on mine, and his arms pulled me close, I had one lone thought before giving into utter insanity.

How have I come to agree to this?

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Chapter One

My last memory of everything being right in my world was before Mr. Darcy arrived in Kent. I had been visiting my friend who had married my cousin. Although I knew I would meet Darcy's aunt, I did not agree to attend out of a desire to see Darcy again. I did not! I never guessed he would arrive during my visit. When he did, I certainly had no idea he would turn my world upside down.

I should have guessed, though. That is precisely what happened with our first meeting. He arrived in my hometown to visit a friend who was a new resident. The gentlemen were the wealthiest men we had ever met, and my anxious mother had five daughters to marry off. Of course, no matchmaking was required for my eldest sister Jane and Darcy's friend, Bingley, to fall in love. However, Bingley's sister and Darcy scorned our relative poverty, and although Bingley planned to return after a journey to London, he's now been absent for four months.

As for Darcy's actions toward me, they are even more reprehensible. Within my hearing, he denied I was pretty and flatly said I was not worthy enough to dance with him. Unsurprisingly, I later heard he denied a valuable living to the man he grew up without of jealousy and spite. Although Mr. Wickham was old Mr. Darcy's godson, he was the son of a steward and Darcy could not support raising him up. Suffice to say I did not mourn the loss of his company the way my sister mourned the loss of his friend's.

After three or four weeks in Kent with my friend, I was informed of Mr. Darcy's imminent arrival. His aunt, my cousin's patroness, appeared angry that I had already met her nephew. I bit my tongue to keep from telling her I disliked him so much that I wish I were only now meeting him. No matter, I told myself. He will be far too busy with his aunt to spend any time at the Parsonage where I stayed. Any sane person would avoid the company of Mr. Collins as much as possible.

Imagine my surprise when the morning after his arrival I was told he was walking down the lane and would be sitting with us in a moment.

"I may thank you," Charlotte had said, "for this piece of civility. Mr. Darcy never would have come so soon to wait on me."

Having no time to reply, and at a loss for a witty reply, in any case, I settled a glare at my friend. The only idea more impossible than Darcy deigning to offer his congratulations to a woman of moderate birth and with whom he had only a passing acquaintance was the image of him taking a fancy to me! Me! The woman he could not bear to dance with and who was so lacking in beauty she was slighted by other men.

Before I could catch my breath, in he came followed by Lady Catherine's other nephew and my cousin. Mr. Collins yapped compliments at their heels like an overexcited small dog. Despite Charlotte's teasing, Darcy met us with all composure, and I resolved to merely observe him. He was complicit in my sister's heartache, and I would at least make him understand that I knew his guilt.

While Darcy's cousin talked pleasantly, he said only a few words regarding the house and garden. After some time in silence, he unexpectedly turned toward me.

"Is your family in good health?" Mr. Darcy asked.

I glanced at Charlotte. Oh yes, quite the words of a lover. I would roll my eyes about it later. After answering that everyone was well, I could not help but make my point.

"My eldest sister has been in town these three months. Have you never happened to see her there?"

Surprisingly, he appeared confused. "I regret I have not had the fortune of meeting your sister there."

I had expected to see proof in his looks that he knew all about Jane being shunned by Mr. Bingley's sisters. Mr. Darcy did not look uncomfortable as though he had been found guilty of a defect. He looked as though he felt no shame. If he cared so little for the norms of Society then why was he here now? Why did he bother speaking with people at all? If he hated all his fellow creatures, then he should stay in his house. However, if he intended to congratulate himself on his superiority, he did nothing to exemplify it. His manner was not that of his friends. With Lady Catherine or Caroline Bingley one was told in as many ways as possible of their inferiority.

Suddenly, Darcy stood to leave, and his cousin followed suit. Darcy stepped forward to bow and say his goodbyes to us ladies. As he bent, I could smell his cologne. Strange. I never noticed how appealing a gentleman could smell before. Colonel Fitzwilliam repeated Darcy's gesture, and I noticed nothing pleasant about his aroma. Glancing at my cousin mopping his brow with a handkerchief and I knew better than to think he could ever smell enticing.

For the next week, we saw little of the family at Rosings and nothing of Darcy at all. Previously, Lady Catherine and her daughter visited often, and we had many invitations to dine at the house. Now, it seemed her ladyship was too busy with her nephews to care about us. I was glad of it. I hated the wealth and pomp of Lady Catherine's court. However, it could not last forever. On Easter, we were invited to Rosings for the evening. I ought to have feigned illness, but I confess, I wanted to see how Darcy would behave in the company of his aunt. His interactions with Bingley and his sisters had been most amusing and far different from his treatment of the others in my town. Would Lady Catherine demand her nephew sit in awe as she did her guests? Would he compliment her to gain her approval? Mr. Wickham had told me that Darcy was destined to marry his cousin, the heiress of Rosings. How would he treat her? If I were merely tolerable, then Miss de Bourgh was disgustingly plain. Of course, gentlemen's looks often improved with a good income. In such a case, Anne was the most ravishing female I had ever met.

Having survived what I called the Great Catherine Inquisition ranging from my education to my mother's worth, I rejoiced when her ladyship's attention focused on her nephews for much of the night. Colonel Fitzwilliam, however, could not be contained and soon spoke with me about music and books. His attention drew the notice of his aunt and cousin. Both frequently watched us, and Lady Catherine demanded to know our conversation.

Per usual, she claimed she and her daughter would have been a great proficient at pianoforte if they had ever learned. Dare I tell her she ought to have taken Anne to London for the benefit of the masters as she so recently told me? I remained silent and had to nod in approval at the way Darcy put off his aunt's questions of his sister's commitment and ability. He was adept at saying enough to satisfy her while I had delighted in tormenting the lady with sly answers.

Oh, but no visit to Rosings is complete without an insult. It has now been suggested I could practice pianoforte in the room belonging to Miss de Bourgh's governess. What an amusing story this will make when I recount it in my letter to my father. We both dearly love a laugh.

Coffee ended and Colonel Fitzwilliam insisted I play some on the pianoforte. While he listened attentively, Lady Catherine began remarking on my technique to her other nephew. Surprisingly, Darcy left his aunt and came toward the pianoforte.

"You mean to frighten me, Mr. Darcy, by coming in all this state to hear me? I will not be alarmed though your sister does play so well," I said and raised my chin. "There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me."

"I shall not say you are mistaken," he replied, "because you could not really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in fact are not your own."

I laughed to cover my confusion. He said it without a hint of sarcasm, and previously I had not thought him capable of hiding his thoughts so well. Either he had learned subterfuge, or he really did think he knew me so well. Had he called it a pleasure?

I directed my comments to his cousin as my brain scrambled to make sense of this new world where Mr. Darcy did not disapprove of me. His nearness and the scent of his cologne did me no favors. After I took him to task for not dancing at a ball in Hertfordshire, his blue eyes held my heart captive.

"Perhaps," said Darcy, "I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction; but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers."

Not introductions. Not the plural. No, he meant only one. He had to reference me, just as much as I meant me. Was he apologizing? Even better, he was relaying regret. He did not stand upon the ceremony that he ought to have danced with anyone or that he should not have spoken so openly. No, he regretted not dancing with me earlier.

Strangely, I find that I regret it too. Perhaps everything would have been different. He would have still been Mr. Darcy of Pemberley with ten thousand a year and owner of half of Derbyshire while I was still one of five daughters to a modest estate entailed on my cousin. However, Mr. Darcy was not without his charms. He could be a pleasant conversationalist. He was intelligent and must know much about the world. I would have been better off having him as a friend these past months than having spent so much of my time in passionate dislike. And perhaps due to a friendship with me, he would not see Bingley marrying Jane as a great evil.

But bygones are bygones, and there is nothing to be done but live in the moment. Darcy attempts to explain his deficiencies in conversation, and I recommend he practice conversation with strangers. Although I criticized, he complimented me. How strange!

Nothing more could be said as Lady Catherine once more commanded the attention of all and we soon departed. Again, Darcy drew near to say goodbye, and I felt light headed at his scent. I fear I will have to see the apothecary if this continues.

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Thanks for reading! End my agony and tell me what you think of it (pretty, pretty please)!


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you everyone for the follows, favorites, and reviews! I hope you like this chapter.**

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 **Chapter Two**

The day after Easter, Mr. Darcy called on the Parsonage.

Alone.

This would be strange enough, but the others were out. I was left to bear his awkward silences by myself. I attempted to extract information out of him regarding Mr. Bingley and any chance of him returning to Hertfordshire, but Darcy answered neutrally.

Refusing to come up with anything else to say, I gave him the burden. Surprisingly, he complimented the Parsonage, and then Charlotte. Well, specifically in her role as a wife. Amazingly, he managed to continue this conversation. Calling fifty miles as near Meryton, however, provoked me.

"It is a proof of your own attachment to Hertfordshire," said Darcy. "Anything beyond the very neighborhood of Longbourn, I suppose, would appear far."

So that's what he thought of me? Or rather, by the smirk he wore, what he thought of Jane.

"I do not mean to say that a woman may not be settled too near her family."

If Jane married Bingley, they might do better if they settled some distance from our estate, no matter Mama's wails.

Mr. Darcy drew his chair a little towards me, and said, "You cannot have a right to such very strong local attachment. You cannot have always been at Longbourn."

Although surprised by his manner, he had been partially correct. "I did spend considerable time with my aunt and uncle in London when I was younger."

"I knew it!" He grinned.

Oh heavens. I had never seen him really smile before. He would sometimes smirk but never really allow his lips to curve let alone show his teeth. I watched him closely.

"You are looking at me oddly. Is something amiss?"

"No," I laugh. "I only wondered if your face might crack as I had never seen you smile before. I believe you might be out of practice with that as well."

"I am," he agreed and again drew closer.

Curses upon his valet and the infernal mixture of his scent. It clouded my head. Taking shallow breaths, I look at his eyes to gauge if he is offended. The sky blue orbs watch me intently, and though the smile left his face, I can see it in his eyes. Why had I never noticed how handsome he is? A girl could genuinely lose her wits around him.

I take in his fine clothes, fitted perfectly on his well-built frame. Tall and broad, he was slightly tanned from outdoor pursuits while most London men were sickly white. He was no dandy, his clothes allowed him to move as a young, virile man ought. His buckskin breeches clung to muscular legs. There was no padding on him.

"Are you pleased with Kent?" Mr. Darcy asked.

His voice was quiet, but the low rumble jolted through my body all the same.

"Very," I answer with a shaking voice. I gently clear it and try again. "I am very pleased with Kent."

"I am glad," he said. "Do you think you will like it as much on a second visit?"

"I am unsure when that will be," I said in confusion.

"There is much more to Kent than Hunsford and Rosings."

I sigh. He is so rich. Does he not know this travel is a luxury for me? "I would certainly love to see the sea one day. I often travel with my London relations in the summer. Perhaps they will visit Margate or Ramsgate someday."

"Ramsgate," Darcy grew white. "No, I would not suggest that resort."

"I will be sure to pass your recommendation on." I twist my hands, unsure why my statement upset Mr. Darcy. I grasp for something to say. "This year, they intend to journey the Lake District." Unable to resist smiling, I add, "I will go with them."

"Excellent! You will love the sights. The wildness of it all suits you."

My smile falters. "My wildness?"

Evidently alarmed by my tone and dark look, he stumbles to clarify. "No, not that you are wild. I meant that I know you will appreciate nature in its original state without the false ornamentation you see everywhere else. Rosings' manicured lawns are nothing compared to the raw beauty of the Lake District."

I begin to smile at his effort and enthusiasm. I thought he said something else in a de sotto voice covered by the sound of Charlotte and Maria returning. My vivid imagination believed it to be, "like you," but I know that was only my vanity. Upon the entrance of the other ladies, Darcy stood, stumbled out an excuse, and fled.

For the first time, I watched him leave with regret. It took quite some coaxing, but once we had settled on a topic he found comfortable, I realized I spoke with him with more ease than I do anyone else. Last night, the Colonel talked with me about music and books. However, it was a thinly veiled vanity exercise for us both as we attempted to best and impress the other. There was no real discussion, no exchange of ideas.

As Charlotte watched Mr. Darcy walk up the lane of her house to Rosings, she marveled, "Eliza, he must be in love with you!"

"If he is in love with me then I must strike him dumb! Can you be made mute from love as you can be made blind?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Charlotte laughed.

"As usual, Mr. Darcy was silent far more than he ever spoke."

Charlotte's brow furrowed. "Why else would he call?"

"Would you wish to spend all your time in Rosings?" I asked and pulled out some paper. I had letters to write.

"I suppose not."

In the following week, Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam called upon us daily. Sometimes separately, sometimes together, and every once in awhile accompanied by their aunt. The Colonel clearly enjoyed the exercise, but Darcy always had little to say.

Little to say in a drawing room, that is. More than once, I encountered Darcy on the paths around Rosings. I even attempted to warn him away from my favorite route and yet he showed up again. I had not thought it so strange until a third encounter.

The day was beautiful, with the sun shining high and no clouds in the sky. The song of birds and a light push of wind beckoned me to run. I sprinted down one path, and a dog leaped from a hedge. His eyes alighted on me, his tail wagging and his tongue lolling outside his mouth. Enjoying the game he thought I played, he ran alongside me.

"What a good boy!" I exclaimed looking over him.

He barked happily and increased his speed just a bit, goading me forward. I caught up. "There you see, I am not a great walker but am a great runner," I said between breathless pants.

Suddenly I ran into a wall in the middle of the path. Just before the world went dark, I wondered how it got there and why it had arms. "Oof!" I cried and fell forward.

I awoke to tender strokes on my back and a gentle voice. "You will be well, Elizabeth. Everything will be well. Just wake up."

Feeling groggy, I lifted my head. I saw two very fuzzy looking Mr. Darcys. Oh, that could not be good at all. Surely there was only one. Could the world even contain two? I giggled at the thought.

"Elizabeth? How are you feeling?" Their blue eyes peered up at me.

"There are two," I said and poked at the twin Darcys but only felt the air.

"I think you should lie down," he said.

"Very well," and I laid my head back down.

My head was not on anything as soft as a pillow and beneath my ear beat what sounded like a heart. I nuzzled closer, the sensations and heady scent overpowering me.

"He always smells so good," I muttered.

The beating sound under my ear kicked up for a moment but so did the wind. With it, my consciousness cleared some. I jerked up, but arms quickly encircled me and held me down.

"Slowly this time. You do not want to grow dizzy again," Mr. Darcy's voice whispered in my ear.

Obediently, I lifted my head. "What happened?"

"You were running. I came out from the path just a few feet away. We did not see one another and collided."

"And why do I feel so strange?" I ask although I know more than half of it has to do with his close proximity.

"You may have a concussion, but hopefully it was only the wind that was knocked out of you. Can you move?"

Knowing better than to nod my head, I slowly rise up more by propping my hands on Darcy's chest. Slowly, I make it all the way to a sitting position.

"Where is the dog?" I asked glancing around for signs of it.

"Hades is well. He ran off for a treat no doubt."

I laugh. "He distracted me! Quite earned his name!"

"Not for the first time," Darcy said with a chuckle.

Hoping to see his brilliant smile again, I glance down and see dirt matting his hair and a bruise to his chin. "You are injured!"

"I regret more that you are. Does your head hurt?"

I run my fingers over my hair and wince at the bump forming under a small area. "It is not so bad, and at least it can be hidden by my hair." Hair, which I realize is tumbled all around my shoulders.

"It is lovely," Darcy says in a gravelly voice and slowly reaches for a curl. "So soft," he murmurs.

Something pokes underneath me, and I jump at the unexpected sensation. I had thought it was a stick, but it seemed to be growing. Mr. Darcy moaned and squeezed his eyes shut.

"You are hurt," I said. "Shall I get help?"

"Elizabeth, the last thing we need is for people to know about this."

"What do you mean?"

"I was letting your senses clear but do you notice your surroundings yet?"

"The woods?" I glanced around. "The path." My eyes scanned over Darcy. "You."

Suddenly I realized I was sitting on him. "You!"

I scramble to get off his body, my heart pounding in my chest and I press my hand on it to keep it from exploding. If anyone had seen us my reputation would be destroyed, and I would be bound to Darcy for life.

"Forgive me," I say in a shaky voice. "I did not mean… I would never…"

I cannot even finish the sentence, but I need him to know that I would never behave in such a way. I would never seduce a man or entrap one.

"You are not to blame," Darcy said as he got to his feet. "I ought to have told you earlier."

Yes, why hadn't he?

"Can you stand?" he asked me and offered a hand.

With his assistance, I was able to stand although I still felt a little dizzy. Darcy insisted on escorting me back to the Parsonage. Knowing that Charlotte and Maria were in, I made him agree to leave me before we came in view of the house.

"Your face is bruising," I said and gently held his head in my hand, turning his chin to examine it. "Does it pain you?" I ask and touch it.

"No," Darcy said, his eyes the intense blue I recalled from other times.

"Take care, sir. Please see to it as soon as you return to Rosings. I would not want Lady Catherine to blame me for disfiguring her nephew."

Darcy smiled at my jest but did not laugh.

"Be well, Elizabeth," he said and gathered my hand from his chin then kissed my fingers. Giving me a soft smile and a slight bow, he turned his back.

Shaking my head ever so slightly, I continued to the Parsonage.

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 **Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thus far, there have only been mostly subtle changes to the story but get ready for a twist.**

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 **Chapter Three**

Upon arriving inside, a maid greeted me with two letters from Jane. One had been misdirected for the handwriting was quite bad. I went to my room to assure privacy.

 _Dear Lizzy,_

 _We are all well here. Our cousins beg me to send you their love, and I must tell you about the new gown our aunt has ordered me. It is to be made in time for us to go to the theatre on your return journey. I hope you are not jealous. Aunt says she wished to cheer me up. I do not know why she thinks I am so affected. I hardly think of Mr. B any longer. Although, I am confident I shall never meet with a more amiable gentleman._

I smiled at Jane trying to put me at ease. It was so like her. The next paragraph showed quite a change in her handwriting.

 _Since writing the above, the most dreadful thing has happened. I have my aunt's permission to relay it to you, but I am told my mother and sisters must remain ignorant. Pray, do not read this in the open where your reaction may be observed. Do not continue reading until your privacy is assured._

 _I do not mean to worry you. We are all still healthy and well._

 _One of Uncle's investments has gone very badly. A ship was lost due to the war and on it many valuable goods. Goods meant to certain creditors cannot be delivered, and others now fear their contracts will not be fulfilled. He has lost all his clients. It looks very bleak for uncle and will be years before he can rebuild the losses he has sustained. Worse than this, Father had partnered the expense. It was meant to be a surprise for Mama and pay for a season in London and to go to our dowries._

 _Forgive me for worrying you. You will laugh and think it was silly of me to even write for all we have lost is money we never knew we might have. I pray all is well for you in Kent. Give my love to Charlotte and Maria and greet our cousin for me._

 _Yours,_

 _Jane_

I did not treat the news as flippantly as Jane had believed would be the case. My heart grieved for my uncle's loss, and I had no confidence my father had invested only a moderate amount. It was more likely to be a case of too little action too late and a last ditch effort to enhance his daughters' charms. If he had saved from the beginning, they would have had even more, but he's decided to not attempt such activity until retirement. I opened the next letter expecting it to contain particulars of plans for recovery.

 _Dear Lizzy,_

 _I am afraid I have even more dreadful news than I did in my last. Uncle had invested in this venture heavily and accrued massive debts to do so. Faced with debtor's prison or the dishonor of bankruptcy, he took a more honorable path._

 _My aunt is beside herself with grief, and I confess I do not understand why he would do such a thing. We are attempting to keep it unknown from as many as we can, although as it happened in the house the servants know. Aunt and I are determined that the children shall not know yet. We instantly agreed to tell no one in Meryton but Father and my uncle Phillips, who were directed to not inform their wives or children and lie about the death. Although miles apart, I can envision my mother's distress._

 _When Aunt inquired if Father could help settle matters and see to the bills, he replied that he had invested all his funds in the scheme and might even have to let the servants at Longbourn go. Aunt is determined to find work, and I have offered as well. We hope the children will be well-tended at Longbourn._

 _Do not attempt to alter your plans at all, dearest. We must not give undue cause for curiosity about their situation. Write before you leave. It might be that we have given up the house by then._

 _All my love,_

 _Jane_

I sat in stunned silence as I read and reread my sister's words. My uncle Gardiner had killed himself to satisfy some archaic demand of honor. He left his wife and four children destitute. My father was of no use either. Until the next rent day, he only had a few shillings. How would they continue to eat at Longbourn? And now my cousins would be living there too? Whatever my aunt and Jane made could not be enough.

Despite Jane's words, I needed to be there and help. I came down the stairs to find Charlotte and explain matters. I would likely need to borrow money for the fare.

Rounding the corner to the sitting room, I overheard Charlotte talking with Maria.

"Now, I will tell you this because I do not want you curious like Lydia or misinformed."

Hearing my sister's name made me stay back and listen to the conversation.

"Mama told me nothing until just before my wedding. She told me my marital duties were to be still and allow my husband to find pleasure with my body."

Maria visibly recoiled at the words and I was of like mind.

"However, I have found pleasure at how he touches me, and that is perfectly well in a marriage. If it were so unpleasant, I doubt there would be so many children in the world."

"And we have a very large family," Maria said.

"Yes, but I would rather not think on that. I tell you this, so you have no need to wonder. Intercourse should, of course, not begin until marriage. However, you may notice a man's interest before then. Use that to your advantage."

"How will I notice it?"

"Well, there are all the usual courtship signs," Charlotte said. "But there is more. His member grows when excited. That is what will go inside you when you join. Remember, after, the wedding."

"I know, Charlotte!" Maria sounded exasperated.

"Well, it becomes excited even at inopportune times. Such as outside of a bed or the privacy of his bedchamber. It does not have the good sense you do. The male member does not know if it is married or not and will be aroused long before vows are said."

I covered her mouth to hide my gasp.

"If you can discreetly notice his stirrings while he is with you, then you will know when to help him along."

"But must it be with a man like Mr. Collins?" Maria pouted. "What about a man like Mr. Darcy? He is so much more handsome!"

"Men like Mr. Darcy will not marry women like us, dear. Do not wait for a man like him to notice you. Look at Jane. She could have married long ago, but she waited for a rich man she loved, and now she has lost him. It is far better to encourage and accept a prudent match than to wait for love or something out of reach. Do not be like Eliza. I fear what will happen to her should her father die. She has no training for a governess or lady's companion, and she will not marry for security."

I gulped and ran back upstairs. No, I could not trust Charlotte with assisting my family in our time of need. I would wait until she had planned to return to London. I gave into tears over her family's loss. By the time I reached Longbourn, things could be drastically different.

I stayed in my room all night, claiming illness. The following morning, I left for a long walk. Charlotte had been far too correct. I had little chance of gaining employment. I greatly wished for a friend to discuss things with but Jane was far away, and Charlotte had turned into a cynic I did not recognize.

Before I realized it, my feet had carried me to my favorite path again. I blushed to recall the incident yesterday with Darcy. I vowed to never run again! In light of my uncle's demise and Longbourn's impending doom, however, such humiliation seemed trivial.

After many moments in my thoughts, a voice hailed me, and I looked up. Colonel Fitzwilliam approached, and he offered his arm as he continued to walk back to Rosings.

Somehow or other we got on the subject of Mr. Bingley and Darcy's excellent care of him. While defending his cousin to me, the Colonel told me of a story in which Darcy separated Bingley from a young lady. Bile rose in my throat. It could only be Jane. Not trusting myself to reply, I remained silent until pressed by the Colonel.

"You are very quiet."

"Pardon me," I answered. "I only thought that I do not care for your cousin's actions. Why was he to be the judge?"

"You believe him to be intrusive?"

"By what right did he have to comment on their relationship? And he did so without consulting anyone else. Did Mr. Bingley's other friends agree? Did no one think of asking the lady her feelings no matter his objections about her family? One ought to have considered if her expectations were raised." I took a deep breath to calm myself. "I suppose there was not much affection in the case."

The Colonel had listened to my passionate answer but now replied, "That is not an unnatural response but would lessen my cousin's service considerably."

On the heel of reading my uncle had killed himself, I could not bear to hear him degraded now. "Perhaps for Mr. Darcy a connection to a family with ties to trade would be unsupportable, but how can that be any great evil to Mr. Bingley?"

The Colonel cocked his head to one side. "I did not mention she had ties to trade."

"You said there were objections against the lady's family."

"Yes," the Colonel said but appeared uncomfortable.

"You may have forgotten, sir, but I knew Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley in Hertfordshire last autumn. I can rather guess who the lady was."

"Indeed! I am unsurprised to hear Bingley had found a new lady. However, I referred to an event over the summer and while it would be unseemly to explain to you the nature of the objection to her family, suffice to say that it did not involve trade."

"Oh, that is…" I blushed and did not continue.

"It may have been intrusive, but I believe Darcy truly did act out of unselfish care."

We had reached the point where we must separate. Colonel Fitzwilliam continued to Rosings while I returned to Charlotte's house. Once again, we had been invited to dine at Rosings, but I could not go. My heart worried over my family, and I was too embarrassed to see the Colonel again. I pleaded illness.

While the others were at Rosings, I pored over Jane's letters. Were there any hints that Darcy had known about her feelings for Bingley? He had seemed confused when I mentioned she was even in the city. If only Jane could marry Bingley, at least that would be one less worry for me. However, I could not expose my sister's feelings to Mr. Darcy, and I did not wish to ask about Bingley's for fear of the answer. However, something must be done to assist my family.

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Poor Lizzy! She didn't dine at Rosings. Can you guess what must happen next? Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Darcy's ready to make his offer. Tell me what you think he was trying to say! Things are heating up!

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Chapter Four

As I began to despair of any way to economize enough at Longbourn to recover my father's and uncle's debts, the doorbell sounded, and Mr. Darcy was shown in.

He was glad to see me well. He had worried it was related to our last visit. Then he sat and crossed his legs, uncrossed them and placed his hands on his knees, then recrossed his legs. Next, he paced about the room for several minutes while declaring an interest in whatever he saw around him. I answered in monosyllabic words.

Suddenly, he rushed toward me and sat on the settee. I watched him with astonished eyes.

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

I could say nothing, think nothing. I watched entirely stupefied as he reached for my hand and kissed the back of it before continuing.

"I have long loved you, but the differences in our stations have made an alliance between us impossible. My family expectations and duties are much higher than you. Could I introduce you to Lady Catherine? To the Earl? What would London say of you?"

I began to pull my hand away, wishing instead to slap him. He held on tighter and squeezed it. Having suffered through one unwanted and insulting proposal already, I could well imagine this was Darcy's idea of a declaration and request.

"I thought not only of you but of your family. I could never admit to knowing them. Your relations are in trade, and you have unmanageable sisters, a husband-hunting mother, and a lazy father. All these things might be bearable if they simply were not so loud, so proud about it!"

Damn him. The very insult he gave redirected my thoughts. To him they were nothing, but they were my everything. His words continued to speak of how tortured he was at the idea of uniting with me in marriage. I had been wrong. He would not offer me marriage. What had Charlotte said? Men like Darcy would not marry girls like me.

"Night and day my desire for you tormented me," he said.

He continued speaking as my mind raced. Yes, I well remembered the evidence of his admiration I stumbled upon the other day. In Rosings was the woman he would call wife. Perhaps he had been waiting until he had selected someone to satisfy his carnal desires. I knew perfectly well what he wanted. I could never accept. I was a gentleman's daughter. However, that was before my uncle killed himself and my family was in debt. With no other means of employment...

"But now I realize nothing else matters but I love you."

Darcy punctuated the words with a kiss to the palm of my hand. A thrill shot up my arm.

"I ache for you," he whispered as he leaned his head against mine.

My lashes fluttered, and I saw the color of his bruise. He truly did ache for me.

"I burn for you," he said again.

Our faces were so close his lips nearly brushed mine when he spoke. My traitorous heart thumped in my breast A thrill of anticipation filled me as his hand left mine and caressed up my arm. If there were such a thing as a special death for hypocrites this would be mine for I realized more than anything in the world, I craved Mr. Darcy's kiss.

More than this, I must accept him. Passion might be fleeting, and any moment I would come to my senses and hate him again. However, my family now destitute and with no security from relatives, I had no other option.

"And now I must ask you to end my agony. Be my mistress-"

"Yes," I said with my heart pounding in my chest.

When Darcy's lips crashed down on mine, and his arms pulled me close, I had one lone thought before giving into utter insanity.

How have I come to agree to this?

Nothing mattered but his body next to mine. Where we touched, heat-scorched me. Darcy's hands ran up my arms and cupped my face. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. Desire and passion shone in his and something else. Something I had not seen before. A piece he had kept hidden away until now.

"My Lizzy," Darcy whispered with ferocity as though he could own me with his words.

Expecting more kisses, I closed my eyes and raised my face again. He chuckled and placed feather light kisses on my forehead and eyes.

"I have never been so happy," he said, and he kissed each of my cheeks.

My body demanded he find my lips once more. I stretched my neck up, searching for his mouth.

"Open your eyes, Elizabeth," he said in a gentle tone.

I obeyed.

Darcy trailed a finger over my lips. "So eager, so passionate." He grinned. "You know, I think you ought to wait." He tapped my lips gently.

I gasped in outrage. "Mr. Darcy,"

"Fitzwilliam," he corrected.

I blushed furiously. "Fitzwilliam, you ought not to tease a lady," I scolded. My glare made my anger plain.

He dipped his lips to my ear. "Do you know what that fire in your eyes does to me?"

Feeling his breath on a part of me I did not realize was so sensitive made me dizzy. I could not manage words and shook my head. What does making me angry have to do with anything?

Then, I felt Darcy take my lobe in his hot mouth and suck. My head lulled back as fire built within me. Something liquid began to pool between my legs making me squirm. I needed to be closer to his talented mouth.

Darcy's lips trailed down my throat, drawing a moan from me. Nipping at my collarbone, he kissed across to the other side. Each nibble and suck sent hot waves of pleasure through my body. My hands tangled in his hair. Reaching my other ear, he whispered in it as well.

"I can't wait to explore all of you, my love."

Incredibly aware that this must be how maidens mislaid their virtue and yet feeling there could be no sweeter torture in the world, I gripped his head and dragged his lips to mine. There, he licked at my lips, drawing the lower one into his mouth and sucking hard. I gasped at the pleasure, and he dove in. His tongue slid over mine. I moaned in appreciation to the new sensation.

Darcy locked his hands around my waist and lifted me onto his lap. Shifting until I found a comfortable position, I threw my arms around his neck. Feeling the stiffness of his arousal under my buttocks added to the heady feeling. Slowly, one of Darcy's hands crept up from my side and barely more than a whisper grazed a breast. Suddenly, I felt myself tipping backward to give him greater access. He ran fingers across my collarbone, the path his mouth had previously worked. All the while his tongue continued to slide over mine. He worked patient paths over the skin above my decolletage, drawing out the inevitable destination. At last, his fingers slipped just under the fabric of my gown, and he groaned at the contact of soft, untouched skin.

Darcy lifted me off his lap and rolled over top of me. He caught his weight on his elbows and deepened his kisses. Moving to a kneeling position, one hand kneaded a breast while he wrapped his other arm behind my neck pulling me into a half-raised position and began to suckle my throat.

Unable to control myself, my hips jumped at the new sensations. Pulling me forward, he tore at the back of my dress. Tugging his hand away, I undid the hooks, and he tugged the sleeves down. My pulse fluttered knowing I was more revealed before a man than I ever had been before.

"So beautiful," Darcy said.

He tugged at the strap of my stays over my chemise. Seeing that it was quite loose, he began to pull it down. The cold air touched more and more skin, and my heart beat in anticipation. Darcy's eyes held mine, silently communicating with me. Yes, he was claiming my body, but it was more, so much more. He could not speak, but he could touch. He could caress me and express his love.

The breast now fully exposed, Darcy cupped it in his hand as his gaze remained focused on my eyes. I shivered at his touch, my nipple hardening in his palm. A groan tore from his lips.

"Lizzy," he breathed then finally looked at the flesh he now held.

He bent his head and gave it a reverent kiss, causing me to jump.

"Do not be shy, love," he said. "So beautiful, so perfect." He drew down the other side and stared, mesmerized by my twin assets.

This time, my nipple hardened without a single touch. Darcy moaned in pleasure and then set to caressing both of them. Sometimes firm kneading, at other times feather light. He appeared to adore my nipples, taking time to tease them into tight peaks. My head fell backward, and I moaned loudly at the sensation. Something built inside me and I felt I might break in half from the tension mounting.

Then he leaned forward to kiss again. Once more I jumped.

"We will not go much further today," he said.

Teasing one nipple, he laved his tongue over the other breast. Then he took the tight bud in his mouth and sucked. My hips bucked again, but Darcy groaned in enjoyment. Alternating sucking and kissing, I writhed underneath him as I prayed he would never stop this sweet torture. When his teeth grazed over the peak I shrieked and felt like I had shattered into a million pieces, each so blissfully happy I could not contain a hearty giggle.

Darcy scooped me forward and onto his lap again. He held me tight; my bare chest smashed against his clothed one. He rested his head on my shoulder, and I played with his hair. Gradually, I felt his arousal diminish.

When he lifted his head, his eyes shone with another emotion which was new to me.

"Thank you, Lizzy," he said and kissed me.

"For what?" I asked.

"For saying yes. For giving me yourself," he hugged me tight again. "This experience…" he trailed off, once more finding words impossible, and hung his head.

"I think I understand," I said.

He looked up at me in surprise.

"Bringing me that...that pleasure brought you comfort?"

Darcy nodded.

"Then please bring me pleasure again and again," I smiled saucily and laughed.

"Always," he vowed. "You are so generous. I had barely dared to hope for a kiss."

"Oh," I said and looked at my hands. Had I done something wrong? After all, we still hadn't engaged in the activity I knew he ultimately wanted. Did other mistresses behave differently?

"You have nothing to feel ashamed of," Darcy said and squeezed me again. "I love how passionate you are. You need never hide that with me."

My shoulders sagged in relief. "You are very different from the Mr. Darcy I thought I knew," I said.

"I hope that does not cause you regret," he replied with uncertainty.

"No," I brushed a lock of hair from his face. "I like this openness."

"Only with you, Lizzy. Only with you."

I squeezed him tight and rewarded him with a passionate kiss. I might not have the title of wife or the estate, but I would have something worth far more. And I would hold him to that.

Although I could feel his arousal returning, he helped me rearrange my gown. "Do you leave tomorrow?" I asked.

"No, I will stay now. I will not leave you alone, but we had better keep it a secret all the same."

I frowned. "Fitzwilliam."

"Just for now," he hastened to explain. "I will escort you to London and make arrangements once there."

I nodded for I had no idea how to explain about my uncle and father. How did one make arrangements to take a sheltered gentlewoman and make her a mistress?

"You will want to return to Longbourn from there, but later, I hope you will want to go to Pemberley. I do not wish to spend much time in Town."

"You would take me to Pemberley?"

"Of course!" He laughed. "Dearest, I do not want to be parted from you for even a day." He kissed my forehead. "Or night but I will manage somehow."

I smiled for I would much prefer a cottage on his estate than a house in Town.

"Will you walk tomorrow?" He asked as he circled his arms around my waist.

"If you wish," I answered meekly. Then, determining that he had made this bargain and I would not hide myself, I added, "I usually do. As you well know."

"You did not suspect me during those meetings, did you?" I shook my head. "I could tell that I surprised you this evening."

"I had no notion you felt so much," I said.

"I have loved you for so long," he replied. "I thought I would burst from it. Finding you here again, when I had thought you were lost from me forever, I could not let you go again."

I pressed my lips to his. "I am glad, Fitzwilliam."

With one more parting kiss, we said good night. I tidied the drawing room and brought my letters up to my chamber. Hearing Charlotte and the others arrive about half an hour later, I feigned sleep when my friend came in to check on me. I did not want any stupid conversation to destroy the precious memories created this night. Becoming Darcy's mistress may not have been my first goal in life, and I was only just coming to know the man, but I knew the moments we had shared were the beginning of a lifetime and I would cherish them.

* * *

Thanks for reading!


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